Conducting Difficult Conversations

If you run or work at a school the chances are you have had many difficult conversations along the way. No-one looks forward to difficult conversations but, knowing that they are necessary can go a long way to making them more comfortable. 

Whether dealing with students, parents or staff, having a key structure to the conversation will help you stay on track and help you to remain confident: 

What do I want the outcome to be? 

Education is an incredibly emotive job and because of this, it is easy to let emotion to lead and move away from the original focus of the conversation. Knowing what you would like the outcome of the conversation to be can help you to steer the conversation back on track should it venture off course. 

How do I think this will make them feel? 

No-one knows the intricacies of another persons life but anticipating how the other person may feel upon hearing the conversation can help equip you with the tools to help guide them through the experience. 

How can I make this experience meaningful for them?

Students, Parents and Staff all have their own experience of school and dealing with authority. This can make it difficult to judge how they will receive what you are telling them. Weighing up what you want to tell them and what you want the outcome to be can help guide you through the landscape of the conversation. After all, people will only act on meaningful information so try not to generalise too much while getting your point across.

Don’t use inflammatory language.

It can be tempting to use language that makes the other person pay attention. However, in doing so it can often invoke a negative response. Using neutral language can help people to see your point of view without excess emotion, making it more likely to get the result you want.

Agree a follow up and timescale. 

In most cases people will need time to go away and think about the content (and presentation) of the conversation, to digest it and decide what to do next. Agreeing a timescale in which you will be back in touch can help support the experience and help gain the resolution you are looking for. 

Know your policies. 

This is obvious as it’s a requirement when working in all schools but often when faced with difficult conversations, parents and staff may ask you to refer to the policy relating to the issue. Being able to speak confidently about the school’s structure and policies should help diffuse the situation.